Are you finding it increasingly difficult to have tough conversations with caregivers about their student’s behavior issues? Does the stigma around social-emotional learning (SEL) make these discussions even more challenging?
You’re not alone.
Navigating these conversations is one of the hardest parts of being an educator today. Guardians may be upset, and students may be struggling, but the importance of SEL to their well-being and future success cannot be overstated.
In fact, hundreds of studies involving more than 1 million Pre-K-12 students worldwide offer consistent evidence that SEL has a positive impact on students’ academic achievement and behavior.
Yet, convincing parents of its value, especially in the face of prevailing misconceptions, can feel like an uphill battle.
This article will uncover how educators can have difficult conversations with student support systems in a light and uplifting way using tools designed to make those challenging moments a little easier. Together, we can break down the barriers standing in the way of student success.
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Understanding Social-Emotional Learning and Student Behavior
Social-emotional skills allow students to feel safe, connected, and sure of themselves. And what better feelings exist to decrease problem behaviors in the classroom? Research suggests that strong social-emotional skills lead to:
- Decreased emotional stress, depression, and anxiety
- More positive attitudes about students’ self and others
- Increased coping skills, resiliency, and emotional identification
- Improved student-teacher relationships and feelings of school safety
- Decreased bullying, aggression, and negative behaviors.
- Consistent results across different cultures and contexts.
Strengthening self-awareness, empathy, and responsible decision-making can encourage benefits like these and decrease problem behaviors. Social-emotional learning is how we support students in learning these vital skills.
According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), “SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.”
Challenges Communicating with Parents About SEL
Social-emotional learning (SEL) often comes with a stigma that needs to be dismantled. In recent years, SEL has become a political topic. but it’s important to remind parents that SEL has been a natural part of educational environments for decades. It is not linked to any political ideology and does not detract from academic instruction. In fact, it’s linked to better grades, test scores, attendance, and homework completion rates.
Aside from stigma, challenges of discussing SEL with parents could include:
- Language barriers or cultural differences
- Bringing up complex topics before a relationship is formed
- A parent may not yet be aware of the extent of their child’s needs.
Moreover, adults may need to strengthen their own understanding of SEL to model healthy decision-making and interpersonal skills effectively. When we manage our stressors successfully, we’re better equipped to support our children.
The following strategies can help lighten the load and facilitate productive conversations with parents.
Five Strategies for Effective Parent Communication
#1: Build a Foundation of Trust and Collaboration with Parents
Do your best to build positive relationships with the parents from day one. Some concrete tips to build a foundation of trust and parent-teacher collaboration include:
- Communicating often — Consider sending out a regular classroom newsletter. Let parents know what to expect, Whether weekly, monthly, or on a different timeline. Send a welcome email at the beginning of the year to share your experience, credentials, and heart for student growth.
- Sharing good news from the start — No parent wants their first teacher email of the year to be about behavior management. Share the positives that happen early on in the year to keep negativity from coming first.
- Getting parents involved — Offer volunteer positions in the classroom. Send home optional activities or books for students to read with their parents. This will help you get to know parents and build their trust while increasing student support.
- Remember, we all have strengths and weaknesses—just like children and students, we adults have our strengths and weaknesses regarding social-emotional skills. Grace on everyone’s behalf will go a long way.
Leslie Cole, eLuma’s Director of School Solutions, recommends pairing SEL with classroom expectations. For example, after working with students to establish classroom expectations, you can share these with parents.
A sample communication could be: “Dear Parent, I am so delighted to have your child in my class this year. As part of our first week together, we’ve established classroom expectations that every student helped create to ensure they feel connected and safe. Here’s what we came up with. Discussing these expectations at home can support your child’s sense of belonging and reinforce their learning.”
By involving parents in reinforcing classroom expectations at home, you create a collaborative effort integrating SEL into school and home environments.
#2: Use Clear, Non-Technical Language to Explain SEL Concepts and Student Behavior
When discussing SEL with parents, it’s important to remember that they might not be familiar with the terminology. To make these conversations more accessible and effective, use straightforward language that fits the needs of your discussion.
In addition to simplifying language, having clear, concrete expectations outlined can help anchor your discussions.
Try sharing your observations instead of the terminology. For example, if a student is working on self-regulation, say: “She’s working on keeping her body still and mind focused when the classroom is louder than she’d prefer.”
When technical terms are necessary, provide the definition when you share the word. For example, if you need to talk about social awareness, say, “We’re working on understanding the thoughts and feelings of other students in our class. It’s sometimes challenging to understand how our actions affect others’ feelings.”
You can also work these phrases and their definitions into your regular parent communication methods. Try regularly sharing about:
- Empathy
- Emotional regulation and self-control
- Self-awareness and social awareness
Remember to add brief definitions or explanations with each term to guide parents toward complete understanding. Cole recommends that school administrators outline student, staff, parent, and student expectations, allowing staff to reference something concrete during these sometimes challenging conversations.
#3: Provide Specific Examples and Data to Support Discussions
When addressing a child’s challenges, such as empathy, be specific. Instead of stating that a child struggles with empathy, describe what you observe: “He accidentally hurt a friend, but the friend’s feelings didn’t seem to bother him.”
To support these discussions, provide data and resources that explain the development of empathy and suggest activities that can foster this skill at home. Ask parents what they notice from their “home lens” to encourage a two-way conversation and help build a more comprehensive understanding of the child’s needs.
Provide a simple online resource, such as the ones offered by CASEL, for parents to look through at home—welcome questions and comments from parents to keep the conversation moving forward.
Additionally, referencing theories like Risk and Resiliency and the development of protective factors can offer valuable insights to parents. These frameworks highlight how strengthening certain factors can protect against behavioral risks, helping parents understand the long-term benefits of SEL.
#4: Encourage Two-Way Communication and Model the Behavior You Expect from Parents
At the beginning of the school year, create an open line of communication by warmly inviting parents to reach out with any questions, comments, or concerns. Whenever you send a parent email, end with an invitation for further dialogue. When parents contact you, practice active listening—make eye contact, nod, and recap their concerns to show that you’re genuinely engaged.
Beyond just encouraging communication, it’s important for teachers to model the behaviors they want parents to adopt. Whether it’s how you communicate or address challenges, your actions set a level of expectation.
This concept is akin to adult SEL, where modeling respectful and effective communication can guide parents in how they should interact with you and others involved in their child’s education.
When parents see you consistently demonstrating the behavior you expect from them—such as active listening, clear communication, and collaborative problem-solving—they are more likely to mirror these behaviors. This strengthens your partnership and sets a positive example for how they can support their child’s social-emotional development at home.
#5: Offer Practical Tips and Resources to Support Their Child at Home
Consider sending home social-emotional learning resources when behaviors need to be addressed throughout the year. This will build a base of SEL familiarity. The resources may also help parents feel more involved in their child’s education.
Consider sending home:
- Students’ favorite SEL books or activity packets over long breaks. These could include positive behavior interventions that you are currently using in the classroom.
- Suggestions to work on SEL goals at home (especially simple, no-prep tasks like practicing eye contact or saying “hello” to people in public places).
- Links to reputable websites, like CASEL, that cover a child’s SEL strengths and/or challenges. (Be sure to review the entire resource before sending. It should align with what you’re working on in the classroom).
- Notes of encouragement: Special needs parenting is easiest when you know you’re not alone. Well-supported parents are more likely to partner with educators on SEL strategies.
How eLuma Can Help
Let’s make behavioral conversations lighter for parents and teachers alike. Start by following the advice above for smoother parent engagement and communication.
If you could use additional support, consider adding eLuma to your team. eLuma exists to build brighter futures for students. We partner with schools and families, offering a variety of mental health and therapy solutions:
- Virtual psychoeducational evaluations, student assessments, and universal screening
- Student behavior management support, including staff and caregiver training
- Teletherapy for speech-language, occupational, and talk therapy
- In-person staffing for school counselors, psychologists, and social workers
- Video consultations to inform and support decision-making for parents and stakeholders regarding the use of our services.
- And so much more.
All in all, it’s essential to emphasize SEL’s impact on student behaviors. Stigmas and other challenges exist, but with the right tools and mindset, difficult parent communication can become positive, meaningful, and impactful.
Are you ready for brighter SEL and behavior communication with parents? Help is here. We’d love to offer you a free consultation. Schedule today to learn more about how eLuma can support your school-family partnerships.
